How to Raise Your Child to be An Accomplished Muslim

How to Raise Your Child to be An Accomplished Muslim

Author: Said Yai, MA

Every parent would love to have their children achieving high in this world. It is a natural tendency of mankind. Umar –may Allaah be pleased with him- once said to his son, ‘Abdullaah Ibn ‘Umar –may Allaah be pleased with them-, when the Messenger of Allaah – peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- threw a question to his companions,

((إِنَّ مِنَ الشَّجَرِ شَجَرَةً لاَ يَسْقُطُ وَرَقُهَا, وَهِيَ مَثَلُ الْمُسْلِمِ, حَدِّثُونِي مَا هِيَ؟)) فَوَقَعَ النَّاسُ فِي شَجَرِ الْبَادِيَةِ, وَوَقَعَ فِي نَفْسِي أَنَّهَا النَّخْلَةُ. قَالَ عَبْدُ اللهِ: فَاسْتَحْيَيْتُ. فَقَالُوا: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ أَخْبِرْنَا بِهَا، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- ((هِيَ النَّخْلَةُ)). قَالَ عَبْدُ اللهِ: فَحَدَّثْتُ أَبِي بِمَا وَقَعَ فِي نَفْسِي. فَقَالَ: لأَنْ تَكُونَ قُلْتَهَا أَحَبُّ إِلَيَّ مِنْ أَنْ يَكُونَ لِي كَذَا وَكَذَا.

“Indeed, there is a tree among trees, which leaves do not fall down, this tree resembles a muslim. Can you tell me, what kind of tree is it?’” (Ibn ‘Umar said), ‘People were thinking that the tree exists in the rural. As for me, I thought it was the date-palm tree, but I was shy to utter it. The companions said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, tell us, what kind of tree is is?,’ The Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- said, ‘It is the date-palm tree,’ . Then I informed my father about the answer that I thought, and he said, ‘If you told us then, I’d like it more than having such and such,’[1]

‘Umar –may Allaah be pleased with him- was glad if his son accomplishing more than the people around them. But how to raise our children to be accomplished muslim?

Every child should be taught to have his or her own life motto, by which he or she will be able to face many kinds of hurdles and hardships in this life. When the public figures are questioned about their motto, they will offer us a wide range of answers. Some say that their life motto is, ‘Waiting for a success to happen is a foolish, and useless act,’ or ‘The lack of faith is what make people afraid to face the challenges’, ‘Failure is when we give up’, ‘Not every beautiful thing is good, but every good thing must be beautiful,’ and so on. However, as a faithful muslim, we ought to have the most noble life motto. The most noble life motto is, ‘I have to live my life under the guidance of the Qur’an and the sunnah,’ or similar statement.

Because only by the guidance of Allaah and His messenger that a muslim can obtain happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. The Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- said,

((خَلَّفْتُ فِيكُمْ شَيْئَيْنِ لَنْ تَضِلُّوا بَعْدَهُمَا كِتَابَ اللهِ وَسُنَّتِي وَلَنْ يَتَفَرَّقَا حَتَّى يَرِدَا عَلَيَّ الْحَوْضِ.))

“I leave for you two things, which by holding fast onto it, you will never go astray; The Holy Book, and my sunnah. The two of it will never separate until they meet me at the lake.” [2]

What is the standard to measure whether a child have excelled in his life or not? It is very important for set a standard to measure the achievement of people, whether it is acceptable to be said as highly accomplished or not. It is to prevent us from mistakingly perceive that a person has done excellent thing, thus we label him as a highly accomplished one, which in reality what he does is highly dangerous to others. Or a person who does things that are out of human’s ability, but it turns out that his acts are prohibited in our shari’a.

If so, then what is the standard? Is it the amount of wealth? Or the level of position in work? The answer is no.

We all agree that the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- is the most accomplished man among mankind. What is the standard set by the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him-? When the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- enjoined people to Islam in Mecca, a high profile Quraish man, ‘Utbah Ibn Rabi’ah, came to see him, in order to deter him from spreading Islam. ‘Utbah said,

(يَا ابْنَ أَخِيْ إِنْ كُنْتَ إِنَّمَا تُرِيْدُ بِمَا جِئْتَ بِه مِنْ هَذَا اْلأَمْرِ مَالًا جَمَعْنَا لَكَ مِنْ أَمْوَالِنَا حَتَّى تَكُوْنَ أَكْثَرَنَا مَالاً وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تُرِيْدُ بِه شَرَفًا سَوَّدْنَاكَ عَلَيْنَا حَتَّى لَا نَقْطَعَ أَمْرًا دُوْنَكَ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تُرِيْدُ بِه مُلْكًا مَلَّكْنَاكَ عَلَيْنَا.)

“O son of my brother! If, by this treatise that you bring, you intend to obtain worldly riches, then we will collect our wealth for you, until you become the richest amongst us. If you want certain position, we will make you our master, thus we won’t be able to decide even a matter without your permission. If you want a kingdom, we will make you our king.”[3] Did the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- took the offer? The answer is, no, he didn’t. It is because the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- understood that those things weren’t his life goal.

At the end of his life, the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- didn’t leave any wealth behind, because the prophets didn’t bequeath gold and silver, they only bequeathed knowledge. As for the many wives that he had, it is a special law for him and not for others. The Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- didn’t marry his wives merely by lust; the proof is that there was only one of his wife that was a virgin before he marry her, that was ‘Aisha. Aside from ‘Aisha, all were widows. There was wife whom Allaah forced the Messenger to marry, and there was wife that he married by considering the numerous goodness in it. The point is that the number of child and wife is not the standard or measurement of one’s accomplishment. Rather, the right standard must be based on indications from the Qur’an and the Sunnah, hence, the most accomplished person in this world should be the one with utmost devotion to Allaah, one that fear Him the most, and possesses a noble degree in the Hereafter. Allaah the Glorifed and Exalted decreed,

{وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا}

“He who obeys Allah and the Messenger – such shall be with those whom Allah has favoured – the Prophets, those steadfast in truthfulness, the martyrs, and the righteous. How excellent will they be for companions!” (An Nisaa’/The women: 69).

Allaah the Glorified and Exalted also decreed,

{إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ}

“Verily the noblest of you in the sight of Allah is the most God-fearing of you.” (Al Hujuraat/The Chambers:13)

A highly accomplished child is the one that, in the Hereafter, possesses noble degree in the Paradise, because he has a good relationship with Allaah and His messenger. Therefore, parents should strive to teach and train their child to be children that is obedient to Allaah, and diligent in his or her worship to Allaah. We know that obedience to Allaah and piety consist of carrying out His commands, and abandoning His prohibitions. Since there are plenty of commands and prohibitions in Islam, the only way to know about all of them is by learning religious (Islamic) knowledge. Hence, we should teach our children religious knowledge in order to guide them to obey Allaah in every condition and time.

Secondly, the most accomplished person is the one who has the best relationship with others. Aside from his good relationship with Allaah, a highly accomplished child should have a very good relationship with others and with creations around him. It can be achieved through the noble manner. Therefore, the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- said,

(إِنَّ أَكْمَلَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا، وَأَلْطَفُهُمْ بِأَهْلِهِ.)

“Indeed, the one with the most perfect faith among believers is the one with the best manner, and the gentlest to his wife.”[4]

Any person with noble manner will be loved by many. The Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- said,

(خَيْرُكُمْ مَنْ يُرْجَى خَيْرُهُ وَيُؤْمَنُ شَرُّهُ وَشَرُّكُمْ مَنْ لاَ يُرْجَى خَيْرُهُ وَلاَ يُؤْمَنُ شَرُّهُ.)

“The best among you is the one whose kindness is expected and whom people feel safe from his threat. The worst among you is the one whose kindness isn’t expected, and people do not feel safe from the danger he causes.”[5]

Those who have noble manner will do good in every single interaction that he has, including in financial interaction (wealth-related one), such as trading, lending and borrowing money, etc. the Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- said,

(فَإِنَّ مِنْ خَيْرِكُمْ أَحْسَنَكُمْ قَضَاءً.)

“The best among you is the one who is the nicest in settling his debt.”[6]

Thirdly, the most accomplished person is the one who gives the most benefits to mankind. Besides having good relationship with Allaah, His messenger, and the people around him, a highly accomplished child should be able to yield great benefits to others. The Messenger of Allaah –peace and prayer of Allaah be upon him- said,

(أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَى اللَّهِ أَنْفَعَهُمْ لِلنَّاسِ.)

“The most beloved man in Allaah’s sight is the one that benefits others the most.”[7]

Benefiting other people can come in many forms, such as:
1. People with superiority in wealth, can donate his wealth to various good causes, such as building mosque and religious school, constructing road, providing well for the drough afflicted area, distributing mushaf (copy of the Qur’an) and its translation to people who do not have it, assisting activities of da’wa and calling people to goodness and preventing evil, and other decent causes.
2. People with ability in managing resources, can make good of his ability to gather people around him, to plan, execute, and evaluate various useful activities for the sake of Islam and mankind.
3. The scientists can perform various kind of researches to create a new invention that will yield great benefits for mankind.
4. People with superiority in memorizing and understanding religious knowledge should use his strength to enjoin people to Islam, teach them knowledge and goodness, and so on.

Thus, Accomplishments of muslim should be measured by these three standards, i.e., piety, noble manner, and benefiting to others. The more he realizes these three aspects in him, the higher his accomplishment in this world. Therefore, parents should give large attention to these aspects in the educational process of their child. A child can easily obtain These three aspects when he has role models around him, maybe his parents, neighbors, family, and society where he lives. At the time when we live now, the muslims are having a dire crisis of role model, due to their weak ambition to learn Islamic knowledge and to practice it in their life, moreover to call people to embrace this noble religion. May this article benefit us, and may Allaah help us to be a better person and to educate our beloved child.


1. Al-Jâmi’ fi Ahkâm wa dâb Ash-Shibyan. Abu ‘Abdillah ‘ dil bin Abdillâh lu Hamdân Al-Ghâmidi. Makkah: Maktabah Al-Asadi.
2. Manhaj At-Tarbiyah An-Nabawiyah liththifl. Muhammad Nûr bin ‘Abdil-Hafîdzh Suwaid. Makkah: Dâru thaibah Al-Khadhrâ’.
3. Tarbiyatul-Aulâd fil-Islâm. ‘Abdullâh Nâshih ‘Alawân. Cairo: Darussalâm.
4. And other references; mostly has been cited in footnotes.
[1] Narrated by Al-Bukhâri no. 131 and Muslim no. 2811/7099.
[2] Narrated by. Ad-Dâruquthni no. 4606. It is classified as a valid hadith by Sheikh Al-Albani in Shahîh Al-Jâmi’ Ash-Shaghîrno. 3232.
[3] As-Sîrah An-Nabawiyah Ibn Hisyâm II/131.
[4] Narrated by At-Tirmidzi no. 2612. It is classified as a valid hadith by Sheikh Al-Albâni in Ash-Shahîhah no. 1590.
[5] Narrated by At-Tirmidzi no. 2263. It is classified as a valid hadith by Sheikh Al-Albâni in Shahîh Sunan At-Tirmidzi.
[6] Narrated by. Al-Bukhâri no. 2306.
[7] Narrated by Ibn Abi Ad-Dunya in ‘Qadha’ Al-Hawaij’, no. 36, Ath-Thabrani in Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabir’, no. 13646. It has a supporting hadith from the narration of Jabir bin ‘Abdillah

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